I am in constant awe of God. How can I not be? How can you not be?
I'm almost 22 yrs old now. And I have been "lost" in what to do with my life. I say that sarcastically in that since I was 18 I knew what God wanted me to do. I was put here on this Earth to love everyone I meet and to serve God.
I also have this amazing ability to doubt God. Specifically I doubt what God can do through me.
I have had a passion for Music Ministry for a long time now, and though I always thought "hey, thatd be neat to study and do for the rest of my life"... I always doubted I could do it, and that God would even want me to.
I was going to school for Multimedia Design, it was enjoyable for the most part, but i felt uneasy. So, after a late night talk with a friend, two days before the new term was going to start, God tapped me on the shoulder and said, "so, are you done running?" and my answer was "yes".
That night I got online and dropped all my art/media classes and searched desperately to try and find the classes I needed to eventually transfer to NCU (eugene) for the Music Ministry program that I had been eyeing for the past 5 years.
I got into a few classes, but not as many as I was wanting to get the ball rolling. I was excited, but also really anxious cause I needed more credits to get my financial aid. And many of the classes I wanted were already full. So in a desperate attempt to get enough credits I signed up for a class at the Cottage Grove campus that I didnt need and was going to be pointless.
I went to that class the next week in kind of a bad mood. A 4 hour class that I didnt even need... the prof came in and handed out the outline, and I immediately thought I was in the wrong class cause the name of the class wasnt what I signed up for...
Turns out, I was actually registered for that class... and to show how amazing God is, He got me into a class I actually needed for the program without me even knowing.... The only explanation was God was once again telling me, "Just keep dancing with Me, I'll get you where you need to go."
I pray that each of you will go where God leads you... that You wont run from Him, that you wont think you arent smart enough, old enough, good enough to do what He is calling you to do.
Just dance with God...
Monday, January 12, 2009
Thursday, December 4, 2008
God Is So Funny
God is so funny.
I was called into ministry while getting my oil changed 4 years ago, in this little, tiny, old gas station turned into a mechanic shop, ran by an old guy named Tom. I dont know why I've gone there for the past 7 years, he always overprices everything. I could just go across the street instead, to the tire factory to get my oil changed for 12 bucks cheaper. But I still go to Tom.
It's always the same old thing, I go in first thing in the morning when he isnt busy. 8:30am. I get outta my car, open the old swinging door, walk to his little office, hand him the keys and go sit down in his "waiting room" for about 30 min. There is no heat in his little shop, I always make sure to bundle up before I go. His "waiting room" consists of an old recliner & couch. An old school Pepsi machine that im sure doesnt work. Old tile flooring that hasnt been swept in years and a huge old tv with rabbit ears sitting on top. And the best part... sitting on the end table beside the couch are a dozen or more old National Geographics, dating back to the early 90's. Once I see Tom pull my car out of the garage I go meet him in his office. He always has something to tell me about, he rambles on about something regarding my car or cars in general. And as always I listen to him and act like what he is saying makes sense to me. I say goodbye and "see you in a few months Tom" and I'm on my way.
It seems almost everytime im sitting on that couch in Tom's waiting room, God has a little talk with me about ministry. The first time and most significant time, He used one of the old National Geographic magazines. And since then, I can be sitting there in silence with my thoughts, and God lovingly interrupts my thoughts of school and financial stuff, and starts telling me more about what He wants me to do. I've learned to keep a small notebook in my purse for these special times. He'll tell me about the things that I need to start working on more in my church. He'll tell me about people who He has brought in my life for special purposes (He is really good about not revealing what for usually), and of course tells me how much He loves me and is glad im going on this "ride" with Him.
This morning I had one of these times. I was not in a delightful mood. And I wasnt excited about putting out money. I had had a rough night at band practice the night before at my church, and was feeling really discouraged about a few things. I'm just waiting for God to send me the help He has promised me. And I felt Satan pushing me down and I wasnt okay with it. I was feeling alone.
As I pulled in to Tom's, I saw I had a book in my backseat, so I grabbed it for reading material as I waited. I handed my keys to Tom and "listened" as he talked about the weather and how cold it was. I then went to my regular spot and opened up my book. "Lifestories" by Mark Hall. The first chapter was Mark Hall's testimony. I had heard it before on a dvd and had been really encouraged previously by it, so I prayed real quick, and started reading. He talked about how he felt that he was not good enough to go into ministry, to major in music, and serve God. He felt stupid and inadequate. Sounded familiar. He started talking about the buttons in the back of his head that Satan would push to remind him of his faults, failures and insecurities. Though I had heard this all before I was floored still. That's what Satan is doing to me. He is digging up these insecurities and doubts and stomping my buttons telling me "Amy, you cant do it".
Mark Hall reminded us of Paul and how he talked about these "buttons" 2 Corinthians 12:7-10. "...a thorn was given me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to harass me, to keep me from being too elated...". I especially love the part where he says, "My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness"
Well, let me tell you... I am WEAK!
I have a couple reasons for sharing these thoughts 1) so that I can read this later and remember the things God has blessed me with and shown me and 2) for you. To remember that God can use anybody. ANYBODY. For His work. God doesnt NEED us. God WANTS us. If you feel called to do something, do it. Please dont let people discourage you. In 4 years of dedicating my life to ministry I have been degraded, manipulated, lied to, told I was too young, not good enough, abandoned, hated and the list goes on. But through all that stuff, I have grown. I have grown to rely on God. I have made mistakes, and I will continue to. But God has revealed more to me then I ever imagined possible. I have people now that support me and encourage me. I will continue to struggle, I will always have insecurities because of the things I went through from the beginning. And so will you.
This is what God is saying to you... I mean YOU. "I am going to do something great in this world, and I just want to know... do YOU want to come? If I'd wanted someone else, I would have called someone else... YOU get up there. YOU show the world what I'll do through someone who will let Me."
It's that simple.... want to join us on this ride?
Monday, December 1, 2008
We Are Dumb...
Since I just transferred from my stuff from my other blog, here is an actual current blog...
After I had a conversation with a friend of mine the other night... More thoughts flooded my mind after we talked about our topic... here the are.
I think if we are truly desiring a true relationship with God, we need to look out our lives in full and analyze it. And when we do so, make sure that we are praying and looking at these things with the eyes of God.
When you do, things become more clear. For example, I have chosen not listen to things that are not glorifying to God. Since I've made that choice, if I ever hear anything that is secular I start feeling icky. If there are suggestive words or foul language I can barely stand it. Its like I feel a darkness starting to come over me.
At the womens retreat, this year in october, Diane Pestes talked about how she really likes music that isnt necessarily appropriate. And one time, while she was listening to it in her car a clear voice spoke and said, "the world is watching". She was terrified and immediately turned the station. It happened one more time when she was in her kitchen listening to the radio. "The world is watching". She took it as God telling her, "you are a light to the world, you are an example & people are watching".
That's truly what we are. We are to be a light to the world. The nasty disgusting world is dark and evil. Its Satan's earth now. God will create a new one for us. We are here only to learn and grasp ahold of God with everything we have and help others do the same. Sure lots of people think, "well im not called to ministry, I dont want to serve God, I dont need to, what good can I do?" Well all that is dumb. seriously. it frusturates me. We are God's children. We are ALL called to serve Him and let Him use us.
When we surrender to Him, He gives us these amazing gifts. Spiritual gifts that are so amazing. When I got rebaptized I was changed. I didnt realize what it was yet, but now I do. One of the gifts God gave me was the spiritual gift of discernment. I didnt even realize it was a gift God gave me until I started studying spiritual gifts.
I can read people, pretty well. I'm not saying reading their minds. but when I meet new people or even people I know well, I can sense what kind of spirit they have. and their intentions. how they would handle things. And a lot of the time even recognizing their gifts. There are other ones that God has given me. I am incredibly thankful and blown away by the things God has blessed me with. I have asked God to show me the things He has given me, so that I can use them to serve Him better. And He has started revealing them to me more and more. I think for us know God, we have to begin serving Him. I'm not saying you have to get a job at a church or drop everything to go be a missionary in some rainforest. But I am saying we all need to recognize that we owe everything to Christ. and do what you feel would be your part.
When Jesus comes again, and He looks at you with His amazing love and eyes and speaks to you... will He say "well done, my good and faithful servant" ? If you dont see how He could say that to you. Then obviously you need to make some changes. There are things that we dont want to give up. It may be drinking, drugs, inappropriate music, language, lying, gambling. The list goes on and on. We all have things that we enjoy doing and dont want to stop doing. Well we are dumb. These are things that are harming us. If not us physically, most importantly spiritually. I cant tell you how happy I became when I made the decision to serve God. And the awesome thing is, it is the most fun I've ever had.
God allowed me to use the things I love and have a passion for to serve Him. I love planning, I love people, I love music, I love writing, I love laughing. Well that is what I do with my life. All those things. God gave me a love for those things, and is allowing me use them for Him. I feel His spirit with me always, I feel Him protecting me, encouraging me, allowing me to have these amazing divine appointments with strangers, or friends from the past, to share with them His love.
It may not even be a conversation about God. It could just be sitting down and chatting with them. Just letting God work through my heart and eyes and letting them know that they are loved. That is all that is important. Love. But for us to experience these things, we need to rid ourselves of the things that are hindering our relationship with Christ. We cant let His love & spirit spill out of us unless we are completely filled up ourselves. This may have been all dumb blabbering to you. But its what i've been thinking about today. And I hope that maybe it was what you needed to hear. If not, sorry I rambled on so long.
After I had a conversation with a friend of mine the other night... More thoughts flooded my mind after we talked about our topic... here the are.
I think if we are truly desiring a true relationship with God, we need to look out our lives in full and analyze it. And when we do so, make sure that we are praying and looking at these things with the eyes of God.
When you do, things become more clear. For example, I have chosen not listen to things that are not glorifying to God. Since I've made that choice, if I ever hear anything that is secular I start feeling icky. If there are suggestive words or foul language I can barely stand it. Its like I feel a darkness starting to come over me.
At the womens retreat, this year in october, Diane Pestes talked about how she really likes music that isnt necessarily appropriate. And one time, while she was listening to it in her car a clear voice spoke and said, "the world is watching". She was terrified and immediately turned the station. It happened one more time when she was in her kitchen listening to the radio. "The world is watching". She took it as God telling her, "you are a light to the world, you are an example & people are watching".
That's truly what we are. We are to be a light to the world. The nasty disgusting world is dark and evil. Its Satan's earth now. God will create a new one for us. We are here only to learn and grasp ahold of God with everything we have and help others do the same. Sure lots of people think, "well im not called to ministry, I dont want to serve God, I dont need to, what good can I do?" Well all that is dumb. seriously. it frusturates me. We are God's children. We are ALL called to serve Him and let Him use us.
When we surrender to Him, He gives us these amazing gifts. Spiritual gifts that are so amazing. When I got rebaptized I was changed. I didnt realize what it was yet, but now I do. One of the gifts God gave me was the spiritual gift of discernment. I didnt even realize it was a gift God gave me until I started studying spiritual gifts.
I can read people, pretty well. I'm not saying reading their minds. but when I meet new people or even people I know well, I can sense what kind of spirit they have. and their intentions. how they would handle things. And a lot of the time even recognizing their gifts. There are other ones that God has given me. I am incredibly thankful and blown away by the things God has blessed me with. I have asked God to show me the things He has given me, so that I can use them to serve Him better. And He has started revealing them to me more and more. I think for us know God, we have to begin serving Him. I'm not saying you have to get a job at a church or drop everything to go be a missionary in some rainforest. But I am saying we all need to recognize that we owe everything to Christ. and do what you feel would be your part.
When Jesus comes again, and He looks at you with His amazing love and eyes and speaks to you... will He say "well done, my good and faithful servant" ? If you dont see how He could say that to you. Then obviously you need to make some changes. There are things that we dont want to give up. It may be drinking, drugs, inappropriate music, language, lying, gambling. The list goes on and on. We all have things that we enjoy doing and dont want to stop doing. Well we are dumb. These are things that are harming us. If not us physically, most importantly spiritually. I cant tell you how happy I became when I made the decision to serve God. And the awesome thing is, it is the most fun I've ever had.
God allowed me to use the things I love and have a passion for to serve Him. I love planning, I love people, I love music, I love writing, I love laughing. Well that is what I do with my life. All those things. God gave me a love for those things, and is allowing me use them for Him. I feel His spirit with me always, I feel Him protecting me, encouraging me, allowing me to have these amazing divine appointments with strangers, or friends from the past, to share with them His love.
It may not even be a conversation about God. It could just be sitting down and chatting with them. Just letting God work through my heart and eyes and letting them know that they are loved. That is all that is important. Love. But for us to experience these things, we need to rid ourselves of the things that are hindering our relationship with Christ. We cant let His love & spirit spill out of us unless we are completely filled up ourselves. This may have been all dumb blabbering to you. But its what i've been thinking about today. And I hope that maybe it was what you needed to hear. If not, sorry I rambled on so long.
Take The Time To Thank Him
Take The Time To Thank Him
Sunday, November 16, 2008 at 9:10pm
Have you ever had a sadness deep down? And you couldnt figure out why? You look at your life and you cant see anything that you should be upset about and yet you are?I am dealing with this right now. It's an odd thing.I am happy right now... so many things are going great. I am doing the things I love, I'm moving forward in my life, I am doing my best to accept God's timing & not my own, I am surrounded by the people I love and that love me.And yet there is this sadness hovering over me. I have always been able to pinpoint it quickly, it was always a no brainer as to why I was feeling sad. But this time... I am at a loss.God keeps surprising me with all these wonderful things that are enriching my life. I see FLIGHT going to a beautiful place and the ministry is being encouraged and supported more than ever before. I am continuing to grow with Christ and I am blessed to get to talk about Him all the time.So, I guess the only thing I can think to do is to continue on.... being thankful for the things that are making me happy and fulfilling the desires God has put in my heart. Maybe God needs me to take a day for Him. Go for a drive, or a walk. And just spend some one on one with Him. A lot of the time my time with Him involves one or more people.... Maybe God and I just need to talk.Well, there you have it. I think we all need to do that... take a full day and go somewhere. Where there will be no distractions and have a day of rest with God. Reflect on all the things that He has provided us with, allow Him to encourage us more through His word, nature, or flooding our hearts with peace in silence. Thank Him, tell Him how much you love Him. He will do the same...Oh Jesus.... how I love YOU
Sunday, November 16, 2008 at 9:10pm
Have you ever had a sadness deep down? And you couldnt figure out why? You look at your life and you cant see anything that you should be upset about and yet you are?I am dealing with this right now. It's an odd thing.I am happy right now... so many things are going great. I am doing the things I love, I'm moving forward in my life, I am doing my best to accept God's timing & not my own, I am surrounded by the people I love and that love me.And yet there is this sadness hovering over me. I have always been able to pinpoint it quickly, it was always a no brainer as to why I was feeling sad. But this time... I am at a loss.God keeps surprising me with all these wonderful things that are enriching my life. I see FLIGHT going to a beautiful place and the ministry is being encouraged and supported more than ever before. I am continuing to grow with Christ and I am blessed to get to talk about Him all the time.So, I guess the only thing I can think to do is to continue on.... being thankful for the things that are making me happy and fulfilling the desires God has put in my heart. Maybe God needs me to take a day for Him. Go for a drive, or a walk. And just spend some one on one with Him. A lot of the time my time with Him involves one or more people.... Maybe God and I just need to talk.Well, there you have it. I think we all need to do that... take a full day and go somewhere. Where there will be no distractions and have a day of rest with God. Reflect on all the things that He has provided us with, allow Him to encourage us more through His word, nature, or flooding our hearts with peace in silence. Thank Him, tell Him how much you love Him. He will do the same...Oh Jesus.... how I love YOU
Fighting Off Bitterness
FIGHTING OFF BITTERNESS
Tuesday, October 21, 2008 at 1:40am
i've been struggling with bitterness so badly the past couple weeks. And what makes it worse is who is causing this doesnt even realize it. And of course i dont confront it cause i dont want to end up saying something i shouldnt. Through this i have realized i get more frusturated at my attitude then anything. it is obvious to me im not reflecting Christs character through it all. i'm very blessed to have people in my life i can go to and be completely honest & open about my feelings with. And i know they wont judge me or love me any less. Everytime they allow Christ to speak through them to say just the right thing. And i immediately start feeling better. Some of the time i know exactly what they'll say. I just need to hear it from them anyway. And Andrews response is always one that will make me smile "you okay? Want me to knock some heads together?" of course thats not the advice i was referring to...i am so thankful that God blessed me with such amazing people in my life who have become my family. They do so much more for me then I have ever done for them. One day I hope I can live up to how great they have been to me.
Tuesday, October 21, 2008 at 1:40am
i've been struggling with bitterness so badly the past couple weeks. And what makes it worse is who is causing this doesnt even realize it. And of course i dont confront it cause i dont want to end up saying something i shouldnt. Through this i have realized i get more frusturated at my attitude then anything. it is obvious to me im not reflecting Christs character through it all. i'm very blessed to have people in my life i can go to and be completely honest & open about my feelings with. And i know they wont judge me or love me any less. Everytime they allow Christ to speak through them to say just the right thing. And i immediately start feeling better. Some of the time i know exactly what they'll say. I just need to hear it from them anyway. And Andrews response is always one that will make me smile "you okay? Want me to knock some heads together?" of course thats not the advice i was referring to...i am so thankful that God blessed me with such amazing people in my life who have become my family. They do so much more for me then I have ever done for them. One day I hope I can live up to how great they have been to me.
A Light In All This Darkness
Sunday, September 07, 2008
A Light In All This Darkness...
I must admit that I have been very down this last week... after leaving Harlow I realized how dark and sinful this world is. And I let it get to me. I of course was sad because I missed getting to wake up in the morning knowing I got to go to breakfast with people that I love and have UNITY with so many people who have a passion for serving God like I do. But even more than that I felt empty and dead. No matter how much I read my Bible and spent time with God I was being torn up and I didnt know how to mend it.
As many of you know I've been working on a Childrens Seminar that will be coming up in two weeks. And I've been really discouraged, cause I dont really have much help, and I wasnt feeling my usual excitement that I usually do with projects and it was frusturating me. But this past week God has been doing all kinds of things to bless this project. All the printing for advertising (posters, flyers, decision cards etc) when the printer gave us the bill is was only $45. When talking to the newspaper editor for Cottage Grove they offered to run our entire ad, with all the information possible plus color photo for free! It is all worked out for me to go on the radio and be interviewed about this project. Laurelwood & Emerald Academy sent us students to go door to door to hand out flyers and invite kids. We wanted to have books available to sell for parents on parenting but didnt have the money to get them. Whelp, the ABC bookstore sent us a huge selection of parenting books and other topics for free and told us to just send back the ones we didnt sell. How awesome is that?!
God is just boosting my confidence with this project and I really needed it. He has given me a passion for the Cottage Grove Community. I am so thankful that my church is so supportive of all the things God has put on my heart to do. They even built a platform to use as a stage in the room for the kids! This probably doesnt sound like much to many of you... but my church is little, to be honest it was close to dying. The people were so close-minded and old fashioned about things (which is fine) but we had no young people, and in 10 years there would be no one there. I feel that God has called me back to this church to serve. Their hearts have been changed, they are ready to make a difference and be a light to our community. They want the pierced, tattoed, mohawks & bright hair... I never thought this day would come :) God is so good...
I know there is a lot of work ahead of me, and the amazing people that are called to these projects as well. I was concerned that all the people who wanted to do this would be wanting to "make Adventists". Well I got put in my place when I brought up this concern :) they said, "we dont care what church they go to, we just want them to feel loved and learn about Jesus!" I almost cried with joy haha.
I am seeing a change with FLIGHT as well. I dont know what will happen. As many of you know its my baby. My first ministry and very close to my heart. At this point in time though I see a movement. And I feel God is calling me to something else. Over a year ago when I was asked to come lead worship at church my little group of musicians wanted to start having a second service on friday nights for more upbeat contemporary worship. We were just dreaming then, and thought "that'd be cool, but the board will never go for it". Whelp, as of last week the board approved it with no concerns. So, after the Children Seminars are over mid October we are going for it! Which means every friday evening ill be at church leading out with my old buds (okay they are in their 40's & 50's, not too old ) and bringing in a drumset! FINALLY! So, regarding FLIGHT, we'll still be there, just a little different for now, until God shows me what to do next with FLIGHT.
Okay I've rambled on enough for this evening. I get a little excited when God allows me to serve Him in these awesome ways.
A Light In All This Darkness...
I must admit that I have been very down this last week... after leaving Harlow I realized how dark and sinful this world is. And I let it get to me. I of course was sad because I missed getting to wake up in the morning knowing I got to go to breakfast with people that I love and have UNITY with so many people who have a passion for serving God like I do. But even more than that I felt empty and dead. No matter how much I read my Bible and spent time with God I was being torn up and I didnt know how to mend it.
As many of you know I've been working on a Childrens Seminar that will be coming up in two weeks. And I've been really discouraged, cause I dont really have much help, and I wasnt feeling my usual excitement that I usually do with projects and it was frusturating me. But this past week God has been doing all kinds of things to bless this project. All the printing for advertising (posters, flyers, decision cards etc) when the printer gave us the bill is was only $45. When talking to the newspaper editor for Cottage Grove they offered to run our entire ad, with all the information possible plus color photo for free! It is all worked out for me to go on the radio and be interviewed about this project. Laurelwood & Emerald Academy sent us students to go door to door to hand out flyers and invite kids. We wanted to have books available to sell for parents on parenting but didnt have the money to get them. Whelp, the ABC bookstore sent us a huge selection of parenting books and other topics for free and told us to just send back the ones we didnt sell. How awesome is that?!
God is just boosting my confidence with this project and I really needed it. He has given me a passion for the Cottage Grove Community. I am so thankful that my church is so supportive of all the things God has put on my heart to do. They even built a platform to use as a stage in the room for the kids! This probably doesnt sound like much to many of you... but my church is little, to be honest it was close to dying. The people were so close-minded and old fashioned about things (which is fine) but we had no young people, and in 10 years there would be no one there. I feel that God has called me back to this church to serve. Their hearts have been changed, they are ready to make a difference and be a light to our community. They want the pierced, tattoed, mohawks & bright hair... I never thought this day would come :) God is so good...
I know there is a lot of work ahead of me, and the amazing people that are called to these projects as well. I was concerned that all the people who wanted to do this would be wanting to "make Adventists". Well I got put in my place when I brought up this concern :) they said, "we dont care what church they go to, we just want them to feel loved and learn about Jesus!" I almost cried with joy haha.
I am seeing a change with FLIGHT as well. I dont know what will happen. As many of you know its my baby. My first ministry and very close to my heart. At this point in time though I see a movement. And I feel God is calling me to something else. Over a year ago when I was asked to come lead worship at church my little group of musicians wanted to start having a second service on friday nights for more upbeat contemporary worship. We were just dreaming then, and thought "that'd be cool, but the board will never go for it". Whelp, as of last week the board approved it with no concerns. So, after the Children Seminars are over mid October we are going for it! Which means every friday evening ill be at church leading out with my old buds (okay they are in their 40's & 50's, not too old ) and bringing in a drumset! FINALLY! So, regarding FLIGHT, we'll still be there, just a little different for now, until God shows me what to do next with FLIGHT.
Okay I've rambled on enough for this evening. I get a little excited when God allows me to serve Him in these awesome ways.
God Is Shaping My Heart
Friday, July 04, 2008
GOD IS SHAPING MY HEART
I am going to do my very best to tell you all about my experience at Camp Harlow so far. But it will be hard. There is so much on my heart, and a lot of it is indescribable.
I have known that God has given me the gift of patience for quite some time now. And I have been so very thankful. But this past week He has shown me even more so, and has been shaping my heart to become even more patient and a love that I do not understand.
My campers this past week were lovely & difficult. I immediately loved them. Those 9 girls were a handful. :) Through out the week I was pushed to my limits and yet throughout it all I felt God giving me patience while being with them and a love for them that I just couldnt understand. It was the best feeling. The end of Wednesday night I will admit I was almost in tears. I hadnt had any alone time for the week, I wanted to read my Bible and journal so bad. I was being pushed out of my comfort zone through having to discipline & stand my ground with a beautiful little girl, who throughout it all I loved so very much. And still at the end of the week she cried, told me she loved me, and that I was the best counselor she ever had. I ended that camp exhausted and with more joy in my heart then ever.
I am so very thankful for the support that we as counselors have at Harlow. More than anyone I am thankful for Andy...I am so glad I have someone there who actually knows me, knows when something is wrong, and knows how to make things better. A quick talk with him made me feel relaxed & encouraged.
I am overwhelmed with excitement about the following weeks, getting to have more campers come into my life, continue getting to know the other counselors, experiencing the lessons and gifts God blesses me with, and knowing that this is where God has sent me.
-I have many amusing stories... so ask to hear them if you like :)
GOD IS SHAPING MY HEART
I am going to do my very best to tell you all about my experience at Camp Harlow so far. But it will be hard. There is so much on my heart, and a lot of it is indescribable.
I have known that God has given me the gift of patience for quite some time now. And I have been so very thankful. But this past week He has shown me even more so, and has been shaping my heart to become even more patient and a love that I do not understand.
My campers this past week were lovely & difficult. I immediately loved them. Those 9 girls were a handful. :) Through out the week I was pushed to my limits and yet throughout it all I felt God giving me patience while being with them and a love for them that I just couldnt understand. It was the best feeling. The end of Wednesday night I will admit I was almost in tears. I hadnt had any alone time for the week, I wanted to read my Bible and journal so bad. I was being pushed out of my comfort zone through having to discipline & stand my ground with a beautiful little girl, who throughout it all I loved so very much. And still at the end of the week she cried, told me she loved me, and that I was the best counselor she ever had. I ended that camp exhausted and with more joy in my heart then ever.
I am so very thankful for the support that we as counselors have at Harlow. More than anyone I am thankful for Andy...I am so glad I have someone there who actually knows me, knows when something is wrong, and knows how to make things better. A quick talk with him made me feel relaxed & encouraged.
I am overwhelmed with excitement about the following weeks, getting to have more campers come into my life, continue getting to know the other counselors, experiencing the lessons and gifts God blesses me with, and knowing that this is where God has sent me.
-I have many amusing stories... so ask to hear them if you like :)
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