Have you ever had a sadness deep down? And you couldnt figure out why?
I am dealing with this right now. It's an odd thing.
I am so happy right now... so many things are going great. I am doing the things I love, I'm moving forward in my life, I am accepting God's timing & not my own, I am surrounded by the people I love and that love me.
And yet there is this sadness hovering over me. I have always been able to pinpoint it quickly, it was always a no brainer as to why I was feeling sad. But this time... I am at a loss.
So, I guess the only thing I can think to do is to continue on.... being thankful for the things that are making me happy and are fulfilling the desires God has put in my heart. Maybe God needs me to take a day for Him. Go for a drive, or a walk. And just spend some one on one with Him. A lot of the time my time with Him involves one or more people.... Maybe God and I just need to talk.
Wow. So there we go.... that is why I write. God may have just talked to me with my own hands typing :D.
Oh Jesus.... how I love YOU and YOUR ways....
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Monday, March 17, 2008
Rebirthing
I recently had an amazing weekend...
March 14th, 2008 I have never been happier...
I turned 21, I got rebaptized, and I got my entire family into church to see it all happen!
The Cottage Grove SDA church has been a huge blessing in my life. The people there have welcomed me back into their church with open arms, huge smiles, and much affirmation. I left that specific church a few years ago because I didnt really feel at home and I needed to be around people my own age. But now I have returned. I was asked to be involved in music down there and I have no regrets in accepting the invitation.
I have a new mentor in my life. Pastor Len Tatom. He is the most real pastor I have ever met. And I have been so excited getting to study with him each week and expand my knowledge as well as having someone be so supportive of my ministry ideas and giving me all the resources I could ever imagine!
Pastor Len baptized me last friday. He welcomed my family who have not been involved in church for many many years, and they adore him. They cant stop talking about the service we held for my baptism and asking questions about church etc. I have never had my family open up like they have been to me about their problems with depression, and their relationship with God, even though they are not involved in a church. I tried to contain my tears of joy as we talked.
Not only was friday an amazing evening but Saturday was as well. I got to be surrounded by some of the most important people in my life, the ones who saved me from self-destruction, and those that showed me what being a young christian on fire is. What great friends I have!
My weekend was amazing. My family is fantastic. My friends are extraordinary. My God is my life.
Just wait folks... just wait and see what God does...
March 14th, 2008 I have never been happier...
I turned 21, I got rebaptized, and I got my entire family into church to see it all happen!
The Cottage Grove SDA church has been a huge blessing in my life. The people there have welcomed me back into their church with open arms, huge smiles, and much affirmation. I left that specific church a few years ago because I didnt really feel at home and I needed to be around people my own age. But now I have returned. I was asked to be involved in music down there and I have no regrets in accepting the invitation.
I have a new mentor in my life. Pastor Len Tatom. He is the most real pastor I have ever met. And I have been so excited getting to study with him each week and expand my knowledge as well as having someone be so supportive of my ministry ideas and giving me all the resources I could ever imagine!
Pastor Len baptized me last friday. He welcomed my family who have not been involved in church for many many years, and they adore him. They cant stop talking about the service we held for my baptism and asking questions about church etc. I have never had my family open up like they have been to me about their problems with depression, and their relationship with God, even though they are not involved in a church. I tried to contain my tears of joy as we talked.
Not only was friday an amazing evening but Saturday was as well. I got to be surrounded by some of the most important people in my life, the ones who saved me from self-destruction, and those that showed me what being a young christian on fire is. What great friends I have!
My weekend was amazing. My family is fantastic. My friends are extraordinary. My God is my life.
Just wait folks... just wait and see what God does...
Sunday, January 27, 2008
Having Faith
I havent written in a long long time. But thats ok. I have something to write right now :)
God is good. I am blessed over and over again and I dont understand how God does so. That's one of the many wonders of Him.
Right now I am having to put a lot of faith in Him to find me a new job. I have loved the restuarant I have been working at. I have made friends that are so incredible. I love them so much. But the time has come for me to move on and try and work towards getting experience for my ultimate job.
I want to be with kids. I've known for sometime I enjoy highschoolers. But about 4 weeks ago I realized I also have a huge love for middleschoolers as well. I felt that God was telling me to not limit who I think im supposed to work with and show God's love to. Made me feel all giddy knowing God would trust me with a whole different group as people as well. Especially when those kids are so impressionable.
So Im asking for prayer that God will bless me with an amazing job where I can do all the things that I want to do. I have so many ideas and books that are just sitting there collecting dust. I need the opportunity to go out and start doing what I love and what I know God wants me to do.
Therefore, Im here God.... just show me where and I'll go....
God is good. I am blessed over and over again and I dont understand how God does so. That's one of the many wonders of Him.
Right now I am having to put a lot of faith in Him to find me a new job. I have loved the restuarant I have been working at. I have made friends that are so incredible. I love them so much. But the time has come for me to move on and try and work towards getting experience for my ultimate job.
I want to be with kids. I've known for sometime I enjoy highschoolers. But about 4 weeks ago I realized I also have a huge love for middleschoolers as well. I felt that God was telling me to not limit who I think im supposed to work with and show God's love to. Made me feel all giddy knowing God would trust me with a whole different group as people as well. Especially when those kids are so impressionable.
So Im asking for prayer that God will bless me with an amazing job where I can do all the things that I want to do. I have so many ideas and books that are just sitting there collecting dust. I need the opportunity to go out and start doing what I love and what I know God wants me to do.
Therefore, Im here God.... just show me where and I'll go....
Thursday, October 25, 2007
I Got This Present Today...
Yep I sure did!
When I went into 76 today, which happens quite frequently throughout my week, I was greeted by Austin. Ya see, my smart friend has created this society :) of inspirational writers. And each week we write an essay, poem, or whatever we would like and we give them to him and he makes us packets of everyone's writings. What a great great idea huh?
Anyways, I told him how my day had sucked and that I would try and write something when I got home to give to him. And he says, "ok, and I have your packet at my house. It's like a present I get to give out to you guys, that you get to unwrap. It's full of goodness!"
I didnt realize how true that was until tonight. I had typed up my little piece, just a page, and had given it to him. And take my envelope of 'goodness' home with me, set it aside thinking Id just open it later. My evening continued...
So just like... 30 minutes ago I saw the envelope sitting on my desk and figured I'd check it out.
WOW! thats what I have to say. 3 essays. Austin, Angela, and Andrew Morgan. I have a huge smile on my face. What amazing stuff they wrote. I am so inspired, it is such a great end to my day. I feel peace and joy. I cant wait to write again and get my weekly present.
If you want to join this 'society' just let me or austin know... you wont regret the goodness!
When I went into 76 today, which happens quite frequently throughout my week, I was greeted by Austin. Ya see, my smart friend has created this society :) of inspirational writers. And each week we write an essay, poem, or whatever we would like and we give them to him and he makes us packets of everyone's writings. What a great great idea huh?
Anyways, I told him how my day had sucked and that I would try and write something when I got home to give to him. And he says, "ok, and I have your packet at my house. It's like a present I get to give out to you guys, that you get to unwrap. It's full of goodness!"
I didnt realize how true that was until tonight. I had typed up my little piece, just a page, and had given it to him. And take my envelope of 'goodness' home with me, set it aside thinking Id just open it later. My evening continued...
So just like... 30 minutes ago I saw the envelope sitting on my desk and figured I'd check it out.
WOW! thats what I have to say. 3 essays. Austin, Angela, and Andrew Morgan. I have a huge smile on my face. What amazing stuff they wrote. I am so inspired, it is such a great end to my day. I feel peace and joy. I cant wait to write again and get my weekly present.
If you want to join this 'society' just let me or austin know... you wont regret the goodness!
Saturday, October 20, 2007
My Friends in Africa...
Two of my friends are student missionaries...
MaryJo Hough will be leaving for Nigeria in a couple weeks for a few months working in an Adventist clinic.
Sarah Sexton is in Chad currently for a year and is working as a nurse in an Adventist hospital.
Please keep them in your prayers and read their blogs on their journeys. Sarah's blog is amazing, I am so proud of her, she is doing amazing things...
The links to their blogs are on this page...
With the Son in my eyes I sign off this Saturday morning...
MaryJo Hough will be leaving for Nigeria in a couple weeks for a few months working in an Adventist clinic.
Sarah Sexton is in Chad currently for a year and is working as a nurse in an Adventist hospital.
Please keep them in your prayers and read their blogs on their journeys. Sarah's blog is amazing, I am so proud of her, she is doing amazing things...
The links to their blogs are on this page...
With the Son in my eyes I sign off this Saturday morning...
Love, Scrapbooking & Cozy Things
Yep so... those of you who really know me, know that I have a problem. I have become addicted to scrapbooking. I dont admit this but to a few people... and now I do to the world! I adore my pictures I have collected. The memories captured are in my hands forever. And a few months ago I decided to start from the beginning of my obsession of photography in the 7th grade. Oh my. I'm reliving my past as I go through my middleschool and highschool years. So far I am up to my freshman year getting into sophomore. I cant help but laugh at the things I thought were so cool back then. And seeing how my old friends have changed for the better or worse. I cant deny the fun we had growing up together. They will always have a very special place in my heart.
Back to scrapbooking...
Today I had an interview at ScrapHappy in the Oakway Center by Old Navy & Borders. How awesome would it be to work at such a fun store!? Anyways, the interview went grand and I am pretty sure that they will offer me the job. If not though, Im okay with it. God's leading me and will put me where I'm supposed to be. It's not like I dont have another job. Just am searching for a second one.
Flight was good tonight. We had it at Cameron's apartment. We talked about John 15:9-17 and it talks about God's love for us. And that He chose us. It was a good talk. Man, God loves us so much, it is something that we cant understand and that is something I am okay with. I just hope that through my daily life I can portray even a little bit of God's love to those around me.
Its pouring right now outside. I am so glad the rain is here. I loved the summer no doubt, but there is something comforting hearing the rain on the roof of our tiny home. And being able to look outside in the morning through our huge windows and see the big trees swaying back and forth in the powerful wind. Though we have to go and walk around outside our place picking up all the trees in pots and other random things that have fallen over from the wind. Our front yard is so gorgeous right now with all the leaves fallen everywhere, and seeing our little kitties running around playing in the leaves. It makes me think of last year when my Ashlie was here and we took a whole bunch of fun fall pictures together in my front yard. I miss her. Today is her 21st birthday, I wish I could spend it with her.
I think I may have to make some hot chocolate in the morning and open up all the curtains of our big windows and take a gander at the awesomeness that is our God and His uber cool creations.
Back to scrapbooking...
Today I had an interview at ScrapHappy in the Oakway Center by Old Navy & Borders. How awesome would it be to work at such a fun store!? Anyways, the interview went grand and I am pretty sure that they will offer me the job. If not though, Im okay with it. God's leading me and will put me where I'm supposed to be. It's not like I dont have another job. Just am searching for a second one.
Flight was good tonight. We had it at Cameron's apartment. We talked about John 15:9-17 and it talks about God's love for us. And that He chose us. It was a good talk. Man, God loves us so much, it is something that we cant understand and that is something I am okay with. I just hope that through my daily life I can portray even a little bit of God's love to those around me.
Its pouring right now outside. I am so glad the rain is here. I loved the summer no doubt, but there is something comforting hearing the rain on the roof of our tiny home. And being able to look outside in the morning through our huge windows and see the big trees swaying back and forth in the powerful wind. Though we have to go and walk around outside our place picking up all the trees in pots and other random things that have fallen over from the wind. Our front yard is so gorgeous right now with all the leaves fallen everywhere, and seeing our little kitties running around playing in the leaves. It makes me think of last year when my Ashlie was here and we took a whole bunch of fun fall pictures together in my front yard. I miss her. Today is her 21st birthday, I wish I could spend it with her.
I think I may have to make some hot chocolate in the morning and open up all the curtains of our big windows and take a gander at the awesomeness that is our God and His uber cool creations.
Thursday, October 18, 2007
Music that soothes the soul
Music. mmmmmm yes.
Im get so excited everytime I get the chance to play & sing. And each thursday I go and play in a little worship band in cottage grove. Its so fun, and God has been teaching me a lot through these older folks. Each of them in the band are in their 40's or 50's. And here I am a little 20 year old girl just there cause they asked for help. I was concerned when first saying yes. I thought they wouldnt like the music im used to playing, and wouldnt be willing to learn what I was willing to teach. AND I was scared to death cause they wanted me to be the lead singer & player.
I mean sure, I love to sing and play... but that doesnt mean I am any good! Let alone good enough to lead. But they gave me the chance, and it seems to be going very well. We have even been asked to have a concert in Cottage Grove in the park.
Anyways, we have two guitarists Jim & Brian (who sing quietly), a pianist Linda, bassist Alicia, and me on the mando and singing. They are so excited to learn any new music, so im always trying to find songs online that I hear on KLOVE or AIR1 that I can play to teach them. The funniest thing when I first started was playing with them was this... They LOVE all the bands I do on Air1.... I was shocked. Cause I have known them all my life from when I was a little little girl, when Jim called me Amy Grant and tickled my feet while my mom was holding me. I always thought they were conservative and only like hymns. And to hear them say, "oh i love Hawk Nelson" "have you heard the new newsboys song?" "Relient K is so awesome" makes me giggle and feel happy. So awesome.
I love them all.... They are so fun, and I love talking with them.
It is such a boost of confidence as well.... after each song we do... they say how much they love my voice. Makes me feel good. And they say how much they have loved watching me grow into a young woman, and cant wait to see what God does with me. Such amazing compliments.
I guess what Im trying to say is....
Music brings people together, no matter what their age... and sometimes people can surprise you once you get to know them. They may turn out completely different than what you expect.
And to us young folks.... dont get all defensive around older folks, especially in churches, let them see who you are... they will be willing to do the same, and you may be pleasantly surprised :)
Im get so excited everytime I get the chance to play & sing. And each thursday I go and play in a little worship band in cottage grove. Its so fun, and God has been teaching me a lot through these older folks. Each of them in the band are in their 40's or 50's. And here I am a little 20 year old girl just there cause they asked for help. I was concerned when first saying yes. I thought they wouldnt like the music im used to playing, and wouldnt be willing to learn what I was willing to teach. AND I was scared to death cause they wanted me to be the lead singer & player.
I mean sure, I love to sing and play... but that doesnt mean I am any good! Let alone good enough to lead. But they gave me the chance, and it seems to be going very well. We have even been asked to have a concert in Cottage Grove in the park.
Anyways, we have two guitarists Jim & Brian (who sing quietly), a pianist Linda, bassist Alicia, and me on the mando and singing. They are so excited to learn any new music, so im always trying to find songs online that I hear on KLOVE or AIR1 that I can play to teach them. The funniest thing when I first started was playing with them was this... They LOVE all the bands I do on Air1.... I was shocked. Cause I have known them all my life from when I was a little little girl, when Jim called me Amy Grant and tickled my feet while my mom was holding me. I always thought they were conservative and only like hymns. And to hear them say, "oh i love Hawk Nelson" "have you heard the new newsboys song?" "Relient K is so awesome" makes me giggle and feel happy. So awesome.
I love them all.... They are so fun, and I love talking with them.
It is such a boost of confidence as well.... after each song we do... they say how much they love my voice. Makes me feel good. And they say how much they have loved watching me grow into a young woman, and cant wait to see what God does with me. Such amazing compliments.
I guess what Im trying to say is....
Music brings people together, no matter what their age... and sometimes people can surprise you once you get to know them. They may turn out completely different than what you expect.
And to us young folks.... dont get all defensive around older folks, especially in churches, let them see who you are... they will be willing to do the same, and you may be pleasantly surprised :)
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